Monday, January 29, 2007

Is Chemistry Important?

I am a true Sex & City addict. I can quote damn near half the show but I keep tuning in on a nightly basis to see the many quirks of pseudo real life situations they portray in the dating world. In one episode, Carrie talked about a certain relationship missing the "zsa zsa zsa voom". In other words, it was missing the chemistry and the passion. Here in lies the age old question of, "Is chemistry really that important to sustain a successful relationship?"

A friend once told me that chemistry is overrated; she said you don't need it to have a happy relationship with someone. She thinks there are so many wonderful qualities that people bring to relationships that we are so willing to dismiss if the chemistry is lacking. This might make sense to some but not to me.

For me, chemistry is one of the most important things to have in a relationship. If it is lacking and everything else is good on paper, I will dimiss the person. It is such a wonderful thing when you can strongly connect with a stranger and become left speechless as to why you connect.

Only a certain few men have conjured up the "zsa zsa zsa voom" in me that invoked the "Where have you been all of my life" feeling. If I don't feel the "zsa zsa zsa voom", then I simply place them in the friend category or the psuedo-relationship category. A pseudo-relationship looks like a real relationship but it's not. You go to dinner, movies, coffeshops, museums, have sex but you never decide to be a couple. The decision to not be a couple lies in the lack of chemistry between the two parties. At least in my head, this is the reason.

If chemistry is not important, what is? Do we trade in chemistry and passion for money, sex, fame, security, fear of being alone? Maybe for some, these things really do outweigh the chemistry connection. Even my pseudo-relationships are just trade-ins for when the real chemistry does come along. A simple waiting period to make life not seem so dull. Everytime I find myself with any of the psuedo-relationship guys, I try to convince myself that chemistry is overrated but it never works. My memories of the "zsa zsa zsa voom" feeling eventually over takes me and makes me keep waiting and watching for Mr. Chemistry to walk into my life.

This question will never die and other bloggers will bring new meaning to it I'm sure. I guess there is no good way to end this blog but to say, to each their own...

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