I know what you are thinking. Is she seriously going to write 101 things about herself? The answer is YES! I had coffee today which is making sleep impossible to come my way. So, here goes...
1) I was born in Dallas, TX on 11/23/77 at 1:42pm.
2) I have one sister who is 9 yrs my senior.
3) I love chocolate milk.
4) Actually, I love anything chocolate.
5) Dave Matthews Band was my first concert at age 18.
6) I could see rated R movies as early as the fourth grade.
7) I had no chores as a child.
8) My parents divorced when I was 8 and then got back together when I was 13.
9) My sister was raised by my grandmother and moved into my parents house when she was 16. (I guess this one isn't technically about me)
10) The first meal I cooked was hamburgers and fries.
11) I haven't worn my hair in it's natural state since I was 12.
12) My first words at 9 months were, "Give me some tea".
13) I drank the best mint tea in Morocco.
14) I only like Paella in Spain.
15) I love foreign men.
16) I lost my virginity in Spain.
17) I was apart of the tech crew for the theater group in high-school.
18) I was kind of dorky in high-school.
19) I didn't go to my prom.
20) I could eat Pizza 3 times a week ( of course I don't).
21) I have a symbiotic relationship with my Mother.
22) We talk on the phone for 4 hour stretches on a regular basis.
23) She was my first best friend.
24) I am kind of bossy.
25) And stubborn.
26) I played the flute in grade-school.
27) I love to dance.
28) I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18.
29) It was with some random french guy!
30) I cried on the way home after my high-school graduation.
31) I barely studied my first year of college.
32) I was put on probation after my first year of college.
33) I managed to graduate from Boston U in 2000
34) I'm a financial strategist.
35) And a writer.
36) I have finished 2 screenplays.
37) My favorite food is Indian.
38) I bought my first car when I was 24.
39) I know nothing about world affairs.
40) And I am actively trying to change that.
41) I love learning foreign languages.
42) I want to live in another country one day.
43) I don't feel attached to the USA.
44) I hate infomercials except if it's weight loss related.
45) I can't ride in a car with the windows up.
46) It makes me feel claustrophobic.
47) I'm starting to like cooking.
48) I have no desire to ever make a turkey.
49) But I will make all the sides.
50) I talk to my best friend from high-school almost everyday.
51) Everyone likes me (no, really they do)!
52) I cherish my friendships more than anything.
53) I never know what to order at a bar when the bartender asks me what I want.
54) My favorite drink is a Manhattan.
55) I discovered it when I was 21.
56) I've had the same cell phone for 3 years.
57) I've never been in love.
58) I'm kind of scared to fall in love.
59) I don't think anyone will ever love me as much as my Mother does.
60) I attract men that never want a relationship.
61) Which I know is a reflection of my own desires.
62) I want to have kids but I am not sure if I will marry.
63) I plan to adopt at least one kid.
64) I believe in reincarnation.
65) But I am not sure how that fits into my spiritual beliefs.
66) I just started going to church every Sunday.
67) Now, I am the greeter at church.
68) I can barely drink coffee now; it keeps me awake too late!
69) Must be a sign that I am getting old.
70) I am turning 30 on Friday.
71) And I am not scared at all;lol.
72) I have been on a diet since I was 12.
73) And it has never worked.
74) My favorite show is Grey's Anatomy but this season isn't as good.
75) I didn't buy my first business suit until I was 29.
76) I LOVED Amusement parks when I was younger.
77) Now, I hate Amusement parks.
78) I don't like camping and I think people are lying when they say it's relaxing.
79) I don't like deep tissue massages.
80) I have always been calm.
81) I have never been called a Bitch in a serious manner. (At least not to my face)
82) I was in the Math Club in high-school but I only got a 580 in Math on the SAT's.
83) I think babies are the cutest things on Earth.
84) I didn't get into my first college choice (Yale).
85) I partied Wed - Sun when I lived in Spain. (Marcha!!)
86) I could never do that now.
87) I love to go winetasting.
88) Sometimes when I get really really drunk, I will accidentally speak in spanish.
89) I have never blacked out.
90) I don't feel attached to the foods I grew up with.
91) I wish I could write in my blog once a day.
92) Revolutionize is one of my favorite words.
93) I didn't really get to know my father until I was 13.
94) I don't like to have the spotlight on me.
95) I am hungry as hell right now!
96) My mom had to give away our family dog when I was 5 because I woke up one day and was scared of him. (Weird!)
97) I haven't had a dog since then but I desperately want one.
98) I am starting to yawn now; thank god.
99) I used to throw away my Mother's cigarettes when I was little b/c I thought they smelled bad.
100) And, now I smoke cigarettes.
101) I think everyone should write 101 things about themselves...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
101 Things About Me
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Telling A Life Story...
In the past 2 days, I have found old high-school and college friends on Facebook. People I haven't thought about in years have instantly popped back into my life. Whenever I talk to someone I haven't seen in 7 or more years, I always wonder how to sum up what has happened in my life during the absense. I know I can't include the many intricate details of everything that has occurred in my life since I last saw him/her but sometimes I wonder, what else can I throw in besides what I do for a living and if I am married or single.
This got me to thinking about memoirs and if I had to write mine today, what would I include? Would I talk about the day my parents got divorced and how empty the house felt once my Dad was gone? Would I mention moving 6 times in one year with my Mom in an effort to get cheaper rent? Would I write about the day reading out loud became a challenge? Would I include pieces about when I lost my virginity and how unfulfilling it was?
I would have to throw in travelling to Chicago with my Grandmother every Summer on Amtrak and relishing every last bit of the trip. I would have to mention getting first place for my Division in the State Spelling Bee competition at the ripe old age of 6. I would have to mention how I cried as the cab drove my Mother away from my dorm back to the airport at the start of my Freshman year. I would have to mention using a Hawaiian girl's Eurorail pass while trekking through Europe and not being caught and thrown off the train.
Telling a life story is simple but not easy. We pick the moments that define us but as I take a mental stroll through memory lane, I realize all of the details have their little place in the memoir.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Of Course You Did Martha...
I've recently become something I thought I would NEVER become. Domestic. Well, only in the cooking arena because I still abhor cleaning. Lately, I have seriously been channeling Martha Stewart with my recent kitchen creations. It all started out innocently when I got laid off from my production company job and found myself at home with absolutely nothing to do. One morning, I decided to cook pancakes from scratch to help get rid of a large amount of flour stored in my cabinets. Then came the frittata's & omelets. Then came me searching for interesting recipes online.
When I discovered the best cooking blog on the planet, All hell broke loose. This blog is a food diary of an average woman who just so happens to be a fabulous cook. Her photography will make you drool and have you searching for your roommates kitchenaid mixer just so you can get that cookie from the screen to your tummy. And not just any cookie; I'm talking homemade oreos.
Now, if you are me, stumbling upon a recipe for homemade oreos is like finding the concoction that is going to save the world from destruction. Okay, it's not that serious, but you get my drift. I loved oreos so much as a kid that I once at half a pack in one day! I got extremely sick after this and my Mom refused to by cookies for what seemed like an eternity.
Since I didn't want to sabotage my weight loss, I made the Oreos for a concert event I attended with friends. The Oreos were a hit and much better than the store bought ones if I have to say so myself. Since then, I have made chewy chocolate chip cookies and korova chocolate cookies. But all this cookie making has only been for events/birthdays because my lack of willpower only allows chocolate to stay in my house for a couple of days.
My kitchen has produced more than sweets since my inner chef kicked in. I made Vodka Cream Pasta and Pizza from scratch last week. From a scale of 1-5, the pasta was really easy to make and gets a 1. The pizza dough made the pizza ridiculously hard to make and gets a 5! I went through 3 batches of dough before the last batch decided to cooperate and rise. I was almost defeated by the mixture of flour, water, salt and yeast.
Cooking from scratch tastes 10 times better than eating in a restaurant and it's as if I have discovered a new passion in life I never dreamt I would enjoy. It used to be soooooo boring for me but I have recently found myself getting excited about new recipes I find. It's gotten to the point where I head straight for the cookbook section at bookstores and I regularly check the food network to see what's cookin'. My mother is just beside herself at my newfound hobby and is so happy that her future grandkids will be eating more than sandwiches for dinner. Whenever I make some new homemade this or that, I call one of my girlfriends and say, "I just made this from scratch and it is so delish". To which she always replies, "Of course you did Martha"...
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The Sexy Was Brought And Then Some...
Monday Night In Review:
Monday night got started with M & I having the luck of the traffic Gods with us as we got to Downtown from the Valley in a record 30 minutes during Rush Hour. For all you fellow Angeleno's, I know what you're thinking. Priceless. We went to Ciudad and got our happy hour on with Mojito's, Sangria and Wine. We figured 2 tiny fish tacos each would suffice to hold our libations at bay. Needless to say, we were drunk by the time we left the restaurant and it was only 6:30pm. I could tell the night was going to be one to remember. We decided to smoke a little sumthin sumthin in the car to heighten our drunkenness craziness.
This is where my memory gets a little foggy but I don't think I will ever forget what happened next. As we pulled up to the parking lot, the attendant was directing everyone where to park but I simply couldn't understand him and was thoroughly confused.
Parking Attendant: Follow me and park here
Me: Huh?
Parking Attendant: Park heeerrrree.
Still baffled, I rolled down the window.
Me: Can we smoke here? Oh shit, I mean park here?
Insert lots of the laughter from the 3 of us at my foolishness to actually ask a parking attendant if I could smoke a doobie in his parking lot. Ahem, maybe we should have smoked after we parked!
We got to the concert and sucked down more alcohol while we waited for Justin to emerge. I thought the crowd would be really young but no, almost everyone was over 25. We even met a group of women at Ciudad over 40 who were shrieking about the concert. Timberlake's effect apparently has no age boundaries.
By the time Justin was about to come on, M commented on how the Patron tasted like water with a hint of lemon and I concurred by gulping the rest of it down. I pulled out my newly purchased Justin glowsticks and started twirling to the sound of the crowd. To be honest, I can't really remember which song he started the concert with but I do remember not wanting to ever plant my butt in the seat. His live singing was way better than I expected and his dancing was by far the best. M & I kept saying how lucky his girlfriend is and how crazy any woman that leaves him must be. To be with a man that is hot, can sing & dance is just...priceless (can you tell this is my fav word of the day).
Justin rocked out for nearly 3 hours and towards the end, his slow songs induced some sleepiness on M&I or perhaps it was all that drankin & smokin that caused our stupor. However, he had us back out of our seats with the closing song, Sexy Back. The entire stadium sang every word along with him and I'm sure all of us felt a little bit sexier in the process.
Of course M&I got pseudo-lost on our way back to the car but we managed to figure out where we parked. I had to chuckle because we kept saying all night, we can't get forget where the car is! But me and her together = t.r.o.u.b.l.e. This night will go down in the memory books for sure. Well, at least what I can remember...
Monday, September 17, 2007
Justin, Justin, Justin
Only 7 hours and 15 minutes to go until me and one of my favorite people on the planet get to see Justin Timberlake in concert!! Tonight I will get to channel the effervescent school girl locked up inside of me as I scream and wail from my seat as if he can hear my falseto voice. I cannot wait to see him shimmie and boogie on stage like there is no tomorrow. Sigh. I am in a happy place...
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Laundry Lists
I got a laptop yesterday. Hip, hip hooray! Now, to some that might seem like not a big deal but to me, it was a groundbreaking achievement. I am a so-called writer but I have never had my own personal computer let alone my own personal laptop. Today owning a computer is like possessing a toothbsrush. Everyone just has one, period. Everyone except me.
I sit here and remember the long laundry list of excuses I told myself to justify not having one. "I don't make enough money." "I have so many bills." "I want to go to Vegas." "Dammit, I just can't spend $600 right now!" But what it all boils down to is priorities. Putting the important things in life at the top of the list of priorities I made for myself was something I ran from like a kid runs from the bully at school. For me it was so hard to activate the discipline it took to save the money. There, I said it, the nasty word. Discipline.
In my first year of college, I got a D in Calculas because I was more concerned with hanging out with my friends till the wee hours of the morning than preparing for my exams. The day before my final exam, I waited 6 hours in line to get tickets for front row seats to go and see the cult classic, RENT. Seeing that show for the fifth time was utterly joyous but I'm not so sure the school probation I incurred from recieving the D was worth it.
That inevitable D dropped my GPA below the number I needed to retain my scholarship. For lack of a better term, I was screwed. When I told my Mother, she said, "What happened?" The laundry list of excuses I told her were:
"I couldn't understand the professor due to his funky Croatian accent".
"The class was too big and I could barely see what he wrote on the board from the back of the room".
"Maybe I just don't get math anymore".
But I couldn't pull the, "I really didn't understand Calculus" act with my Mother because in high-school, I got straight A's in all of my math classes. My mother says, "Were you partying too much?" No, I was just hanging out. "Hanging out doing what?" I don't know just hanging out. "Well if you lose your scholarship, you will be hanging out at home." Needless to say, I got my shit together. I would love to say that I magically raised my GPA the next semester by not putting any extra effort towards studying but I corrected my error ways by letting that nasty word enter into my lifestyle - discipline.
I like to think that all of these funny little lessons I have learned prepares me for the next bigger lesson. And it sure is hilarious to sit back and think about the things I use to put at the top of my priority list...
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Book Report: Grammar School Style
I recently read a book that made me think of the good ole days of writing book reports; I used to LOVE writing book reports when I was kid. While every other kid was grumbling during the book report assignment, I was secretly jumping for joy inside. Since reading was my number one hobby as a child, I relished the opportunity to write my opinions about the adventures I discovered in between the pages.
Fast forward 20 years, I still love to read but I don't get around to it as much. However, I recently read a book called, "Why Do I think I Am Nothing Without A Man" and I want to discuss some of its life-changing concepts with you guys. The book is written by a psychologist named Penelope Russianoff (she played the role of the psychologist in Unmarried Woman) and it came out in the early 80's. Although, it is over 20 years old, the author's message is still very much on point.
Penelope addresses her book to all women, married and single, and how she believes that too many women make the mistake of thinking that men complete them. From career driven women to stay-at-home Moms, she says that many women feel empty if there is not a certain someone in their lives.
Penelope gathered her research from studying women in her practice and from the classes she taught at New York's New School of Social Research. She has studied the relationship lives of thousands of women and from the ones she encountered, over 95% of her patients think they are nothing without a man. I know, a staggeringly high amount!
The author uses a great term to describe this "nothing without a man" mentality. She calls it, Desperate Dependence, which can be defined by any of the following:
Severe clinging to a man
Feelings of void if a man is not in your life
Major focus of life is on a man
Feels that the world views you as abnormal without a male consort
The man must be totally absorbed by you and must "need" you
Luckily, desperate dependence is a learned (nature and/or nurture) behaviour and can be corrected if one chooses to take the plunge of reforming herself. According to the author, it is very important for women to get in touch with their "inner core of security" in order to kick the desperate dependence habit. In the author's words, having an "inner core of security" is like having a, "solid spine of confidence that is part of you; you take it with you wherever you go. And with this inner source of sustenance, you do not have to rely for safe harbor or for self-esteem on anyone outside of yourself".
I think that in order to develop an "inner core of security", you have to really get in touch with your wants, needs and desires as a woman. Once we as women learn how to love and depend on ourselves for our happiness, then we can take all of these strong points to a relationship.
Penelope says throughout the book that she is not advocating for women to develop a "I don't ever need a man" mentality. Men are great and they definitely have a place in our lives; they can make some of life's experiences very rewarding. She just wants women to learn how to independently nurture their body, soul and spirit so that when you are with a man, you can bring your whole self to the partnership.
Another important concept explained in the book is learning how to love and enjoy being alone. Unfortunately, many women equate being alone with being lonely. Sometimes you can be very happy when you are single and alone versus times when you are sad & lonely even though you are in a relationship. I think a lot of women get into a rut of thinking that their partner is supposed to make them happy and make their lives not listless and boring. It is not anyone else's job or duty to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy first or you will be going through men left and right searching for the one that can never bring that elusive happiness to you.
Mrs. Russianoff (yes, she is married) says many women think that having a husband or having a man that loves them guarantees they will never be alone. But this is what they call living life with rose colored glasses on. Your spouse or boyfriend might leave you or gasp, die before you. So, we have to accept the fact that at some point in our lifetime, we will be alone. Instead of trying to avoid it at all costs, we should embrace it when it comes. Being alone simply gives you time to get to know yourself and to call all the shots so to speak.
Maybe some women don't want to be alone because they really don't love themselves. But here's a thought, if you don't like or love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to like and love you? I also think that some women might think this type of attitude (not being afraid to be alone) might make them look less desirable to a man but in reality, it makes you look more desirable to a man. No man wants a clingy woman that needs him for survival. And if he does seek this type of woman out, then he has issues too.
In closing, I back the author up full heartedly with her opinions on getting out of the "desperate dependence" line and jumping over to the "inner core of security" line. I think deep down, all women want to develop a love so strong for themselves that will prevent them from falling privy to thinking they are nothing without a man.
