Sunday, September 16, 2007

Laundry Lists

I got a laptop yesterday. Hip, hip hooray! Now, to some that might seem like not a big deal but to me, it was a groundbreaking achievement. I am a so-called writer but I have never had my own personal computer let alone my own personal laptop. Today owning a computer is like possessing a toothbsrush. Everyone just has one, period. Everyone except me.

I sit here and remember the long laundry list of excuses I told myself to justify not having one. "I don't make enough money." "I have so many bills." "I want to go to Vegas." "Dammit, I just can't spend $600 right now!" But what it all boils down to is priorities. Putting the important things in life at the top of the list of priorities I made for myself was something I ran from like a kid runs from the bully at school. For me it was so hard to activate the discipline it took to save the money. There, I said it, the nasty word. Discipline.

In my first year of college, I got a D in Calculas because I was more concerned with hanging out with my friends till the wee hours of the morning than preparing for my exams. The day before my final exam, I waited 6 hours in line to get tickets for front row seats to go and see the cult classic, RENT. Seeing that show for the fifth time was utterly joyous but I'm not so sure the school probation I incurred from recieving the D was worth it.

That inevitable D dropped my GPA below the number I needed to retain my scholarship. For lack of a better term, I was screwed. When I told my Mother, she said, "What happened?" The laundry list of excuses I told her were:

"I couldn't understand the professor due to his funky Croatian accent".
"The class was too big and I could barely see what he wrote on the board from the back of the room".
"Maybe I just don't get math anymore".

But I couldn't pull the, "I really didn't understand Calculus" act with my Mother because in high-school, I got straight A's in all of my math classes. My mother says, "Were you partying too much?" No, I was just hanging out. "Hanging out doing what?" I don't know just hanging out. "Well if you lose your scholarship, you will be hanging out at home." Needless to say, I got my shit together. I would love to say that I magically raised my GPA the next semester by not putting any extra effort towards studying but I corrected my error ways by letting that nasty word enter into my lifestyle - discipline.

I like to think that all of these funny little lessons I have learned prepares me for the next bigger lesson. And it sure is hilarious to sit back and think about the things I use to put at the top of my priority list...

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