Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Getting Back Into The Game - I Think...

I've been debating for the past 2 months about putting my profile back on a dating website. I haven't been online since June 06' and I haven't gone on a date since February 07'. I am starting to get the itch of wanting to date but I am hesitant to get back out there due to my lackluster dating history. I tend to attract the sweet, kind and nice men that tend to bore me 95% of time. Whether I meet them online, at a party or a club, it's the same dude. Whether they are black, white, yellow or blue(ain't it funny how people always say yellow or blue when describing races!), it's the same dude. They say we attract what we put out there so maybe I am sweet, kind and boring! (Gasp).

Although I don't think that is necessarily the entire sum of it. I was watching reruns of Oprah yesterday and it was an episode about love. Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance were talking about their love story and how they were friends first before they became lovers. They went to the same college but didn't personally know each other. 10 years later, they ran into each other in Hollywood and got together for a date. She said she thought he was, "sweet, kind and boring" after the date and decided he wasn't her type. She put him in the friend category but they ended up falling in love later down the line. She said after they really got to know each other, they realized they were soulmates. I thought their story was cute; it gives you hope that maybe the boring guy really can turn out to be the prince if you give him a chance.

Her and Oprah said it takes a certain maturity to get past the,"Oh my god he is boring" mentality. Maybe while we are young, we want constant excitement to stem from relationships with men, be it positive or negative. We overlook the nature of the persons heart and immediately look at personality flaws he might have. It's funny, when I ask my mom what attracted her so much to my dad, she always says, "I knew he had a good heart and would always love me". My dad has a list of boring qualities I don't care to name but instead, she looked at his heart. Maybe these older women are on to something...

In the past, I have dismissed many men who I thought were boring but now, I'm planning on being more open in the future. I don't plan on settling but I hope to at least fully get to know someone before I make a decision about him not being for me. I'll let all you darlings know what happens once I get back in the game.


Wanderlusting said...

great post! And I totally agree.

There is something about the "good guy" the "nice guy" that is decidedly boring.

In fact, I have met and brushed off many of these boring dudes but after awhile I started to confuse lack of chemistry with being boring.

They weren't truly boring, there was just no spark.

However, now I have kind of changed my game because I have gone for the kinda "boring" guy just because he is, as your mom says, "I knew he had a good heart and would always love me."

So far, it pays off...

Madrid said...

You are so right when you said, "I started to confuse lack of chemistry with being boring" b/c I think that has essentially been my thought process too in the past.

Good luck with your new guy!