Thursday, March 29, 2007

I Was Only Gone For A Minute

Today I took one of those cheesy "What soul are you?" quizzes and one line from it stuck with me. It said I rarely finish things that I start. Of course I am not surprised but a little stubborn to admit that this is so true. I logged back onto this site today to see that it has been over a month since I last blogged.

To my defense, life did get a little all too consuming and blogging didn't seem so urgent. But, it is fun to write about my wacky feelings on here and then go back months later and reread it to see what "place" I was in emotionally when I initally wrote it.

The past 6 weeks have been quite interesting. I have been able to reconnect with faraway friends, discover a love for a new career I am digging deeper into and I have really started to be more proactive to get the things that I want out of life. I used to focus so much on everything I didn't have in life and although I didn't complain to outsiders, I sure did complain a lot to myself and to God. Why this and why that? Why him/her and why not me? I now realize how this train of thought sounds so pathetic but the complaining allowed me to make excuses for not having the things that I want out of life. So now, instead of complaining about what I don't have, I carve new paths on how I will get it.

As soon as I changed my thought process, I started waking up everyday happy and ready to tackle the world. I kept thinking to myself, why am I so happy? Then it dawned on me. I am not complaining anymore or at least 95% of the time I am not. It's a relief I tell you. Now, when something bad happens to me that I have no control over, I say with fervor, "So What". Those two smalls words don't sound powerful but they really are. Just saying them makes me feel like I make the decision whether or not to let something affect me in a negative way and drag me back to the world of complaining. Alright guys, that's enough peeping into my psyche for now. I was only gone for a minute but now I am back!

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