Fessing Up

If you have been following this blog, I mentioned back in February that I was going to try a Vegan Lifestyle for a month. Well, that never happened. I definitely had a few Vegan days but not 30 days in a row. Usually, I am disappointed when I fail at something I try. Not this time. Going from Carnivore to Vegan is definitely a lofty goal and I am learning to start making more attainable goals first in order to achieve true success at whatever goals I am setting.

So instead of becoming a Vegan for 30 days, I decided to eat all organic food from now on. This goal is much easier because I am not depriving myself from any particular foods; I just have to eat the healthy organic versions. In the beginning, buying organic made me feel like I would never be able to have a social life again due to the extra expense but I am actually saving money. Go figure! Now, I have to eat the fruits and veggies I buy instead of letting them go to waste like I did in the past because not eating them is like throwing a crisp $50 bill out the window. Also, spending more money on groceries forces me to eat most of my meals at home. In the past 7 weeks, eating organic has become a way of life for me and now I can't imagine eating any other way. It is virtually impossible to eat organic all of the time but for the most part, I have stuck to it.

The other thing I am fessing up about today is cigarettes. I quit smoking cold turkey 7 weeks ago but I have smoked since I initially quit. I haven't smoked nearly as much as I used to smoke but I have had at least 2 packs within the past 7 weeks. I take that as progress though and I still say that I am a non-smoker because I really do believe words have power. What I learned most about trying to live a clean lifestyle is that it will not happen overnight. It took me a long time to accumulate these bad habits so I have to be patient with myself in getting rid of them.

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I Was Only Gone For A Minute

Today I took one of those cheesy "What soul are you?" quizzes and one line from it stuck with me. It said I rarely finish things that I start. Of course I am not surprised but a little stubborn to admit that this is so true. I logged back onto this site today to see that it has been over a month since I last blogged.

To my defense, life did get a little all too consuming and blogging didn't seem so urgent. But, it is fun to write about my wacky feelings on here and then go back months later and reread it to see what "place" I was in emotionally when I initally wrote it.

The past 6 weeks have been quite interesting. I have been able to reconnect with faraway friends, discover a love for a new career I am digging deeper into and I have really started to be more proactive to get the things that I want out of life. I used to focus so much on everything I didn't have in life and although I didn't complain to outsiders, I sure did complain a lot to myself and to God. Why this and why that? Why him/her and why not me? I now realize how this train of thought sounds so pathetic but the complaining allowed me to make excuses for not having the things that I want out of life. So now, instead of complaining about what I don't have, I carve new paths on how I will get it.

As soon as I changed my thought process, I started waking up everyday happy and ready to tackle the world. I kept thinking to myself, why am I so happy? Then it dawned on me. I am not complaining anymore or at least 95% of the time I am not. It's a relief I tell you. Now, when something bad happens to me that I have no control over, I say with fervor, "So What". Those two smalls words don't sound powerful but they really are. Just saying them makes me feel like I make the decision whether or not to let something affect me in a negative way and drag me back to the world of complaining. Alright guys, that's enough peeping into my psyche for now. I was only gone for a minute but now I am back!

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